Today we are talking about gain.
This topic seems to contradict how you feel, huh. What in the world could you gain from the loss of your child?
Look back on your own story. Do you see the beauty from ashes? Can you see where God has or will transform your loss to gain? Recognizing what you have gained may be difficult at first but keep pushing through. Here are some suggestions:
- Did you gain a perspective?
- Did you gain a new friend?
- Did you gain hope?
- Did you gain a deeper relationship with God?
- Deeper relationships with others?
My perspective is, I have gained an experience that has transformed my life. This transformation has given me insight into God’s character that who we perceive Him to be can taint the reality of who He is. When I let go of my perceptions, doubt, anger, fear, and so much more, I saw God for who He is, how He heals, the way He loves, and the abounding mercy and grace He gives freely. In the months that I cried for my child, God showed me His tears because I wanted to see them. I could have chosen to block out what God was doing, and in doing so, I would have based who God was on my experience and not the truth. Yet, I saw God show up so many times in those months. Experiencing God based on His character and not my understanding or imagination is the most significant gain through my biggest loss.
My prayer is that you will gain healing the world has never seen, as I have. Through achieving this healing, you can pass your story and your recovery on to others. All these things I have gained are what you have gained as well. You have gained a perspective on life that is different from others. You have gained a community of moms, dads, aunts, and uncles who have gone through what you have. You have gained a story that will transform you, and I hope your transformation is one of healing and life!
The goal today is to look for the beauty in your loss. Here are some suggestions:
- Do you see the light of healing?
- Do you see a relationship restored or growing closer?
- Do you see your growth as a person?
Take some memories of your stillborn and see if you can see something that would not have happened otherwise. Sift through your thoughts and ask God for a fresh perspective, coming from a lens of gain.
If you are having trouble, take your time. You can spend as much time as you need here. Not seeing what you gained or believe you gained nothing from this will not stop the progress of your healing or freedom from grief. It’s just an added gift.
If you do find something, write it down or share it with a trusted person. Talking about what you believe you have gained will help the acceptance of your thoughts. There is life and death in the tongue, so speak life to what you think you have gained.
Always meditate on scripture. Here is a suggestion:
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. Ecclesiastes 3:11 EVS
Until next time.
Disclaimer, I am not a therapist or doctor. If you are considering hurting yourself or others, please seek medical attention. This advice and may not work for everyone.